Out of sight

Here I am again. TV is on. Out these walls I hear cars passin'.
Inside these walls am I. I turn off the TV. That caos isn't a minor piece of what I feel.
I can't hardly think. Just thoughts revolving deep in.

Hayley singin':

"Explain to me, this conspirancy against me"

Through the window the wind blows. It's cold. Not as it should be. Not as it must be. The rain hasn't come yet.

"You can take your time. Take my time"

I was lost. Then thought havin' found the cure. The cure turned into poison. Lost again. A pile of books. A restart. A re-restart. None of them has proved bein' the right pass.
I question myself what, among all this row of unluckyness, beginned the hell I am through.
Hell. Heaven. Do they exist? Unluckyness? It's not a matter of good or bad luck. It's based on choices.

"Don't wanna call my friends, they might awake me from this dream"

A bottle of water. Almost empty. It's not mine anyway. Just part of the mess. Not mine either. The tears come. But don't fall. I'm not used to cry. Should I? Would they solve the mistakes? Don't think so. Mistakes... funny word. Mis = wrong. Takes = choices. The insecurity that an unknown future. It was known. Now it's out of reach.

The wind bell rings. Reminds me the nature. Reminds me of peace. Peace? Another word of a far dictinary.

Was so right as it seemed try to step out of mediocrity? That tuesday afternoons were never so wanted...

"Three month and I still breathin..."

Ruinin' lives should be fun. But it isn't. This vicious circle is not about to end.

"Here is my hand and my heart, it's yours to take"

Why am I still here? Stirrin' the lies I told myself hopin' to save me from pain. Ironically, it only brought more.

"Let the rain fall, let the rain fall, I'm comin'..."

Let's rewind? Let's start all over again as the first time I looked at you enterin' the room and gathered courage to risk? It worked! Didn't it? Regret. That move was all that I should have done. I didn't do for respect. For you. You.

Come and collect my pieces...